This year I get to race in BriSCA F1 and I have to say, I haven't been this pant wetting-ly excited about the prospect of racing for quite a while! Lots of people have been asking questions about It, and I thought the best thing to do is write a blog that covers my feelings at this precise moment.

Firstly, why F1 Stockcars. There are lots of reasons why I chose F1 Stockcars and here, in no particular order, they are:-

1) I considered National Hot Rods but decided against it. Firstly, they go the wrong way. Secondly, the contact. Not the amount of it in you get in the F1's, but more the amount of it in the supposed 'non contact' formulas. It's is all very well getting knocked from arsehole to breakfast time in a contact race series, but getting smashed about in a series that isn't contact is expensive and annoying.

Kelib Said "No." Superstox.

2) I then considered Superstox. Its a good fit for AHM as we specialise in the Zetec engine and it would be good to put a Super together and finally break the Pinto's grip on that formula. That project might still happen, but not with me in the driving seat. The main reason for not joining the Superstox is that a Super is EXACTLY four cylinders short of having a proper engine. Seriously, if I wanted two litres, I'd buy a bottle of Pepsi.

Kelvin's face when we asked him for photos for this blog post. "That's OK" we said. "We'll provide them for you ya grumpy cunt". 

Kelvin's face when we asked him for photos for this blog post. "That's OK" we said. "We'll provide them for you ya grumpy cunt". 

3) How about Legends? I had a great time in Legends, but to take the next step required a massive investment. Not that F1s don't, but F1 is an easier and more worthwhile investment, for me, than the Legends. You see, Legends is a control formula and control formulas are supposed to make racing cheaper. And they do! If you're a bank manager, or a dentist, or the person that puts labels on apples. But I am none of those things. I build race engines. Buying a sealed engine is not cheaper for a person that builds race engines.

Kelvin Legends Racing

4) As some of you know, I also hold an FIA competition licence, which has led to many people asking why I go stockcar racing at all. I will tell you right here and now, that oval racing is better. Any circuit driver that doesn't think so either hasn't done oval racing or was doing it wrong. Circuit racing drivers are absolutely raped out of fortunes for their sport. The prices escalate year on year for no other reason than the drivers will continue to pay. And because they keep paying year on year, the organisers and track owners will continue to bleed them dry until nobody races anymore. Driving on circuits is fun, and racing is great wherever it is, but you are kidding yourself if you think racing is better at Brands Hatch than Arlington Stadium. It just isn't. That's why nobody goes to watch it.

"Unless you're in the British Touring Car Championship, real racing is done on an oval." 

Its like that NASCAR Euro Series. Do you know how much that costs? I will tell you. It's just a tiny bit cheaper than buying the moon. Would I buy one? Yes, if I could afford it. I'd buy one and rent it out to other people. What we are talking about here is a race series that uses oval cars for circuit racing. Why would you do that? There are already amazing circuit cars available. Radicals, F4, Porsches, Cupras. Why on earth would you use a stockcar? You wouldn't go to a pet shop and buy a cat only to take it home and try teaching it how to bark.

5) So what about the Cortina? Well, to be frank, its nice to go racing with dad. But realistically, we need someone else to partner him in that car. My time and money will be tied quite heavily into our F1 project.

But enough of my whinging, let us talk about what I can expect from my first season in BriSCA F1 Stockcars. Well, a bloody steep learning curve for one! I hope I can post some good results, but by no means am I expecting an easy time. I will have to get used to heavy contact and not finishing races (I'm good at that already!) on a regular basis. I'm expecting to get hurt often, but what worries me most of all is not being able to brake with my left foot.

Left foot Kelvin Cat

It wasn't until I drove a Spedeworth V8 a couple of years ago that I realised this was even a thing. When I drive on an oval, I use the brake and the throttle together to balance the car, I thought everyone did – but here was a race car with the throttle and the brake on the same side. "T'IS WITCHCRAFT!" I proclaimed. But my mentor for the day, Peter Scott told me its pretty normal in stockcars. So I spent three very unsuccessful races at Aldershot trying to unlearn a skill that I have been perfecting for the last ten years. It didn't end well. When I went to check out the F1s I saw that only a handful had stop pedals on the left. The Mat Newson Racing cars, who I will be joining for my debut season, were not lefties.

It seems a silly thing to talk about but in ten years of oval motorsport I have never slowed a car down with my right foot, unless I was bringing it to a complete halt. So there you have it. I'm not worried about the power or the banging and barging, I'm worried about something you manage everyday on your way to work, slowing a car down with yer right foot.

I'd like to thank all of you that are following me on this adventure. You'll all get to say, "yeah man, I knew him before Sworder stuffed him in the fence at Brum." I do appreciate every one of you that supports what we do. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank my sponsors Cost Effective Heating, MsportXtra, Juice Electrical, AHM and the ever-tiresome Kunstvoller [Editors note: Cheeky bastard] who have commandeered this blog for their own personal use.

Kunstvoller will be the conduit for all my F1 shenanigans. You will be able to find videos on their youtube channel and other things going on right here on the website, including our racing schedule. My debut race is at Birmingham on Saturday the 8th of April, followed by Hednesford the very next day. Come find us at the track and say hi!

Kelvin

[You can now read his post-weekend write up 'Brake Pads and Dead Piegeons – A BriSCA F1 Racer's Story' here – can and should!]

***All the crap you see written here is Kelvin's opinion and not that of his associates, race team or marketing partners . . . with the exception of Kunstvoller, 'cause they're adept at backing and swerving anything ; D *** 


Everyone who's part of the KunstSquad is friendly as fuck. Feel free to reach out, leave comments, ask questions and get involved with Kelvin (and the rest of us) over on social media:

READ KELVIN'S 'SPONSORED KUNST' PROFILE

FACEBOOK @KELVINHASSELL13                                             INSTAGRAM @KELVINHASSELL13

TWITTER @KELVINHASSELL13                                                          YOUTUBE KELVIN HASSELL

 

You can also subscribe to our newsletter for the (infrequent) latest #KunstSquad goings on.

2 Comments