It's terrifying. That's what it is. You strap into a vehicle armed with anywhere north of 600 horse power and compete in a sport where you're allowed, nay, encouraged, to drive into other cars. You ask me what it feels like to drive in BriSCA F1 and there is your answer.
Sort of. Most of us like a sale. We even fall for pretend ones. But Kunstvoller isn't DFS. We're not Children in Need either. You can't set your clocks by our non-existent sales pattern and we don't want to seem permanently on the cadge.
We've shed our old skin just in time for 2018 kicking off. If bats emerged from chrysalises, that would be us. The new pages are up on the site. An up to date overview of Kunstvoller, the Kunst Squad, and all they entail is there for you, and anyone else, to cast their eyes over.
It's been that long it seems we forgot how to write. But, now we're back with an update! We'd been gearing up to announcing (that sounds too grand) that we were taking a sabbatical. A "seasonal pause" as the great red-headed one @gingersteps put it.
So where do I start? Well 2017 has been a tough year after what began with so much promise! I got myself back on board a 2-stroke with the acquisition of a rather lovely KTM EXC 200 just after new year. After a bit of prep to make it suited to myself, with a stiffer set of fork springs and some re-valving of the rear shock, it was a case of gas and go! Well, that’s how it was supposed to be!
I got out of the shower Monday morning counting the bruises and aches that come with a weekend of heavy stock car racing. I sat down, opened my laptop and was pleased to read on one of the many websites covering our sport, that these bruises were not mine. I was not suffering after an enjoyable weekend at the races, and that the trophy I'd hugged – with an affection that no child of mine could ever hope to receive – was not destined for my shelf.
This time last year we never imagined we'd be gawping at photos of a Kunstvoller skydiving rig and suit . . . the mere idea a glint in the ambitious Kunst eye. Well go ahead and take a look at these sausage! It’s not bragging to say we’re proud as yer like with the first Kunstvoller / Sponsored Kunst collaboration.
So, my first weekend in the heady heights of BriSCA F1 is now over. Time to reflect, reminisce and learn, ready for the Skegness Speed Weekend in a months time.
I got to meet my new car for the season, new competitors, new style of racing and lots of new people.
The first new person I met was Miss Brassique. She was sent by Kunstvoller as a representative, to make sure I was doing my job. Baby sitting I think she called it. Many of you will be familiar with Miss Brassique from Twitter. And for those of you that aren't, she's not difficult to find. She is also exactly the sort of person you'd expect a Kunstvoller representative to be, and here she was on her first away mission, armed with nothing more than a pair of uncomfortable shoes and an iPad.
When we announced Jake's sponsorship on 19th of Feb the plan was to get a blog post up as well. Better late than never! Jake's going to doing some writing for the site and we fully admit to having seized his first post for our own means ; D From it we learnt things about him that we didn't know, and being nebby by nature we rather enjoyed it. It's nice to find out more about our Sponsored Kunsts without needing to go through their bins. Wouldn't have been easy in Jake's case anyway. The poor bugger lives over in horribly sunny Spain – that'd have been a canny trip for us from Costa del Middlesbrough.
Today is a big day for us. For better or worse. We've just announced that we've sponsored Kelvin Hassell #13. From now on, we shall only refer to him as Kelvin. First name terms and all that.
"Why is it a big day" you may ask? Good question. "It's only Kelvin Hassell" you might be thinking. Fair point. Lies! It's not a fair point. Announcing that he's on board with us is a big deal. This makes him our second Sponsored Kunst, a man representing not only Kunstvoller but the KunstSquad too. We hand selected him, it wasn't like some sort of random tombola, we sought him out and we've (perhaps misplaced) admiration for the bloke. He wouldn't be here if we didn't. Not as in he'd be dead, that's next level stuff, we just wouldn't have got involved with him. Fact.
We've wanted to write this post for a few months now, in fact, since just after Skull & Pistons Garage came into our world. After seeing fellow KunstSquad members sharing their builds, very soon it seemed that everywhere we looked we were faced with their glorious logo. Naturally, inquisitive as we are, we had to go and do some further investigating.
Our first hats reached our paws last Monday and within a day they were already on some of the KunstSquad's heads. We're so chuffed with them we thought about keeping them all for ourselves. That would be selfish though, and that's something we ain't.
You can buy them in our shop (we said we're not selfish, not that we're stupid) and there's a few available in each style. That's bobbled or un-bobbled, cuffed or slouchy. All are of a kind of the pull-on beanie type variety. Yes, someone (no names mentioned) need clarification / coaching on how to put on a hat. This goes to show how patient we really are.
We've had this for a few hours now. When we heard that Kelvin had a published book, naturally, we were intrigued. Might even stretch that out to say we were impressed. Finding out from the man himself that it was about how to become a racing driver we were instantly sold. "Who doesn't want to be a racing car driver?!" we said. Off we trotted over to Amazon and duly ordered three copies, certain that our time on the track was going to go down in the record books now and that our new career awaited. This bloke knows his stuff and we felt like we'd been let into the magic circle.
Well, it's not old. We've only just turned 4 months today. FOUR MONTHS OLD! That's 4 months that have gone by in a haze of graft, orders and laughs with the KunstSquad.
It's good that we've not had time to sit and blather-on on here . . . in some ways anyway. We must get better, and that we will. There's a few posts we've missed out, but, you know, the world hasn't stopped. This is swift (?!) update and a few shoutouts to some of the people who've become our Kunstrades already. Here we go:
That's right, 3 weeks into Kunstvoller launching and we're trotting off on holiday for a fortnight. No names mentioned about whose idea that was.
To be fair, it was booked months ago, when we expected to have been up and running for a while longer, with our own little racket of packers and deliverers working round the clock to deal with the floods of orders we'd be receiving. Or, the alternative version, that we'd be building up slowly, talking to ourselves online and nobody would even know we existed. We find ourselves somewhere in the middle, which means we're stupidly busy for a tiny team. Too busy to be leaving Kunstvoller HQ behind. We'll be having a 'working holiday' using the powers of technology when we find somewhere with a signal (no wifi where we're heading) and getting out the pens and paper for a bit of old-school style planning when we can't.
The Lil' Kunst is unleashed at last. He stars on the first release from our 'Original Collection' – the 'Lucky Lil Kunst' T-Shirt. Available for £18 as a nice limited-time launch price for the next week. Choose a colour (or two) that floats your boat. You'll also get a matching sticker 'cause he's not content with just being on your chest.
Speaking of stickers, we've got 100 sets sat here waiting to be sent out to 100 lucky people. For free. We know it's very generous – it's all part of our launch celebrations. The first 100 people to claim them here, or by ordering t-shirts, get themselves a nice set of 11 shiny, new, slappable designs.
What a weekend! T-shirts, stickers, compliments slips, stacks of envelopes and mailers all ready for launch. Most excitedly, our first batch of custom ordered t-shirts were hand delivered by our very own 'T-Shirtaclaus', Miss Brassique. She chose those names, not us. We're glad to say the receivers were very grateful to the givers . . . yeah, that means us! Kunstvoller baby!